Christians are straight up FREAKS
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My liver just had a heart attack.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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