id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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