you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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