I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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