Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
