Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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