I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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