dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
