it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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