All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
This house was built for laser tag.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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