Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
