If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize