you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.