Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.