You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.