I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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