3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
