i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
