Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
