Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
