He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
