Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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