how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
