If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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