I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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