i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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