you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm like, not good at living.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
