we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
