so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
