Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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