dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
