so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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