You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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