You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize