oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize