just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize