Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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