I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
