So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
