I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
