Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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