You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
