How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
