People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Text me some of your sweat
false alarm, still single
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
