somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize