Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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