Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.

(936): View more from Texas

haha now u have to piss out ur bum

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(563): View more from Iowa

I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death

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(516): View more from New York

i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor

(1-516): View more from New York

did you bang her?

(516): View more from New York

seriously?

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(678): View more from Georgia

Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(804): View more from Virginia

time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever

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(613): View more from Ontario

I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Liz is crying about burritos again.

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(916): View more from California

I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high

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