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• (410): View more from Maryland

  He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for

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• (512): View more from Texas

  You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick

  (305): View more from Florida

  I am very proud of your internet skills

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (276): View more from Virginia

  I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  "You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  $150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Twice?!

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.

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