u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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