yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
