As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks