Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.