you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
