my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We were destined to go to rehab together
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
