I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
