Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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