Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
