Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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