You made me cry and you don't even care
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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