is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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