I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I've blown a few things in my day
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
is wine microwaveable?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
