my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
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He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize