"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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