I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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