Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
