this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
