haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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