my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
the liver wants what the liver wants
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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