I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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