Where is the hickey?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
