drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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