please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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