can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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