super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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