I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
